Locker Bling

Today begins Senior Week at my Son’s High School. It is a tacky celebration of banquets, ceremony, decoration and one up-manship competitions geared towards the graduation senior’s parents. Yes, parents, not students.


The “Letter” breakfast involves parents writing letters to graduation seniors. Not only to your senior but also to your child’s friends. I have received correspondences from parents requesting letters to their child. I didn’t write a single one. This event reminds me of the old school Valentines boxes. The child with the most cards wins. I didn’t like it then and today, as a parent, I dislike it more. This event we did not participate in. My Son said, “No.” Thank you Evan.


My yard needs mowing. What my yard does not need is a sign announcing my Son’s graduation. Yard signs and banners are appearing all around the community. Some are small like the ones that say, “Stay off the grass” and in smaller letters, “Pesticides applied.” By the time you get close enough to read the fine print you can smell the Raid. Over zealous parents go for the banners. They can be read from a low flying plane. The only sign I want in my yard is a small post it note that reads, “Evan, I will pay you to mow.”


Now for the one event I did participate in. Just shoot me now, it didn’t go well. Locker decoration should be an easy task. Grab a few photos, some tacky glitter, glue, tape and ta-da…done. With this event the parent must abide by the rules. That was the easy part. No offending photos. Before a parent can begin this task, they must go to the school after hours, pick up the decorating package. This includes a template (That was the nice part) and a permission ship to be filled out by the student. The permission slip gives the locker number, combination and is required by the school before the decoration can be applied. My Son did not know his locker number however he gave me vague directions on how to locate it. I didn’t foresee a problem. Have the school look up the number, decorate locker.


With spray mount still on my hands I was happy to be 30 minutes early for the turn in time. The school attendant requested my child’s name and the form. She then told me his locker number. I walked the hall for 45 minutes looking for the locker. The school insisted it was upstairs however the directions my Son had given were downstairs. One school employee advised me three times to find the locker and vacate the building as they were locking the school. She offered no assistance finding the locker. During my exploration of the halls, I saw a banquet of sorts occurring in the cafeteria. The diners were just beginning their meal. I had no plans on vacating the building until everyone did, including the cafeteria patrons.


The woman insisting I leave the building found me again. This time I asked her for help. She declined by repeating her vacate the building line. Another school “Helper” overheard and offered assistance. Finally! After 40 minutes I was out of halls to roam. We went back to the list. The locker listed was upstairs. Shaking my head and informing the lady the locker was not upstairs, I appeased her and entered the elevator. The “Officially listed” locker was easy to find. I entered the combination, knowing this was not my Son’s locker and it did not open. No surprise there. The lady tried the combination. It still would not open because….it was not the right locker. The “Official list” was wrong. Of course then I received a lecture on how the list was not wrong. My son must be sharing a locker or using someone else’s. He is not, but there is no way to convince any person employed by Gwinnett County schools that they are wrong. Over 14 years, with two children I have learned this. They never make mistakes. They are infallible. They are still wrong regardless of their staunch righteousness.


Defeated, I “Vacated” the building, rule abiding, decorated locker template in hand.


My backup plan was to have Evan text me his locker number on Monday, go back to the school and slap the friggin thing on the correct locker. Is anything really that easy?


Since school is in session, parents are required to sign in, show ID, fill out a badge, explain their visit and give a pint of blood before entering the school proper. Lets just say the office employee was as one minded as the “Vacate” woman. She insisted Evan’s locker was the one upstairs that the official record stated. I informed her the list was incorrect and wrote the correct locker number on the back of the template. She informed me parents were not allowed to place the decorations on the lockers during school hours and a student helper would place it for me. I was fine with that! The visit could have ended pleasantly there but this being a school employee, she was concerned about the “Official” list. It was her desire to have Evan come to the office and have the situation remedied. Evan was not in this school at the time. He splits his courses between two schools. I informed her, “There are only a few weeks left of school. Evan is graduating. I see no reason to fix anything.” Thoughts of Evan being forced to move to the upstairs locker for the final weeks flew through my thoughts. She wanted the locker situation corected. The last thing I wanted was for the school to fix the situation. I just wanted the decoration tossed up on the locker my son uses….please!


Hopefully when Evan arrives at school in the morning, his locker will have the gaudy decorations applied. Hopefully, the school will not attempt to fix that which is not broken. Hopefully, the school will send me the allotted four tickets for the graduation ceremony. I am already planning how to skirt any problems if the tickets do not arrive. When it comes to attending the ceremony, I will not be defeated.