Sunday, January 07, 2018

Documenting Death, again...

Today is January 6, 2018. My Dad celebrated his 85th birthday, New years Eve at home, in a bed provided by hospice care. There was cake. He didn't eat any.

My Husband, myself and my dogs have been living at my Dad's (24/7) for 2 weeks. His neighborhood is in transition. Some are renovating, many are for sale. The house next to my Dad's scares me. Odd traffic. Odd hours.

I am worn down from care-giving. Lacking sleep. My hair seems to be falling out. I flip from tears to anger to calm. From what I have read, I am suffering "Care-giver Burnout." It is not pretty. Neither am I. Schlepping around in sweats, skipping showers, pain from attempting to sleep on a bed that doesn't agree with me, homesick.

While taking the dogs out yesterday morning, I saw a man emerging from the "Crack" house. He was bent over, shuffling, head down, hoodie up. I thought, "Damn, these people are mucked up."

As I watched him slowly migrate to the road, I thought, "Ya know, he could me me. Caring for a dying parent, so much stress. I look just like him."

I doubt he is caring for anyone but I saw my broken self in that man.

Documenting Death

My Dad has reached his end of days. He fights, denies, wants one more, and one more, and one more day. He tells us (family) "I am one tough Indian."
The ICU Doctor released my Dad for Hospice care, (His house, family as caregivers)  December 2, 2017. I rode in the ambulance on his journey home. It was his first ambulance ride.

Emory Hospital ER - November 28. 2017

Friday, November 10, 2017

My Niece - Becca!

This is my beautiful, talented Niece!

She will be performing at the 16th Annual New Song Music Showcase & Competition, Lincoln Center, NY Nov. 30. So proud!!!

Listen here

Thursday, October 05, 2017

Playing with Food.

Black and blue salad (Arroser lamb) with candied pecans, Israeli couscous, crisp pancetta, sweet peas, red onion and my last homegrown Beefsteak tomato.
Gougeres. French cheese puffs.

This was my first time making Gougeres. I can't really justify spending the cash on Gruyère so I substituted a hard Swiss cheese. The recipe called for a 475 oven. Way too hot so I began at 425. Still too hot. The first batch didn't puff. Reduced to a 425 convection...perfect.

As for the cooking method known as Arroser, or butter basting, this was also a first. I had center cut lamb leg. Added sprigs of fresh rosemary (I seem to grow a lifetime supply) and one garlic bulb halved. Oh and tons of butter. Maybe I was just lucky but the results were quite nice.

Moral of the story is, whatever your interests, push the limit. Great way to learn and in the world of cooking, you get eat the rewards.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Learning to Hate

“People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite... Man's goodness is a flame that can be hidden but never explained.”

Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Typical Girl Gamer

 The Elder Scrolls Online recently released a new DLC, Shadows of the Hist. A big perk of the DLC (for ESO Plus members) is the ability to dye collected costumes. While adventuring in ESO, players earn (or purchase through the Crown Store) costumes. Most, in their generic form, are not so pretty. With Shadows of the Hist, I can "Even dye my eyes to match my gown."

Lovin' this! Call it girl gamer fluff but I can knock down, snare, steal and annihilate all while color coordinated. Now I just need some paint for my bow and blades.

Saturday, April 30, 2016


Best tag ever. Thank you Dougie!

Ehope is a game name I have used since Morrowind (Offline) Ehope has been my silly pig-tailed avatar through The Sim's Online, Star Wars Galaxies, Star Wars message boards, Lord of the Rings Online...more.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Ark of Sunder

So I caught up with my guild Sunder on Ark. They picked me up in a flying dinosaur Winnebago with a rooftop garden and a king sized bed!

Greatest Guild ever. Love my Sunder guys.

Tuesday, February 02, 2016

Friday, December 18, 2015

Still Awakened

No spoilers here! Yes, The Force Awakens is amazing. Yes, J.J. nailed it. Love/hate so many unanswered questions. Love, loved that those same unanswered questions made for a lovely, geeky, happy, speculation of the story on the ride with Kyle Pelot back to my car. Heading out for viewing 2 tomorrow. I'll be looking for more clues!

 More after my second viewing.

Sunday, November 09, 2014


This is where my spider lives. Tenacious one. It needs a name since it has lived through 3 months of web removal. I could have squashed it, just chose not to.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Sunder - My Band of Brothers

Honor. Loyalty. Friendship.
And the best darn people I have never met. 

Sunder is my game guild. Basically, a group of people from around the globe that play MMO's together. We use TeamSpeak (Like a vocal chat room) to coordinate quests, organize and simply talk. I have never met any of my Guild. They are still real friends. 

I offer my thanks to Sunder. You have always been there for me, even when I left gaming. Friends are like that. /bow

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Be Nice

I love this. So true! I'm good with a knife. All that whittling 'ya know.

Thanks to The Bloggess.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Mother's Bedtime Story

Shall I tell a bedtime story?
Castles and roads of gold you have heard.
Feathers to fly, potions of magic, chattering animal friends, are yours.
When we met.
How you smiled.
The fears and joys of watching over you.
These are the tales you asked for.
They are the times we shared.
Stories are forever
For with each breath we
Create the new.
Bedtime stories to dream upon.
Memories that quicken the breath as
They are remembered and retold.
All these I give to you and more
For we are not finished.
Today I tell myself the story of us.
When you are the voice,
Mine shall be the chorus, the small
Harmony behind your bedtime tale
Told to your children
As they fall to slumber
Enveloped in an orchestra of voices
Singing generations of our lives.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Not The Game You Are Looking For.

I adore video games. No news there. What may be surprising is how picky I am about the games I play.

I follow current game news, read trend reports, apply for Alpha's, Beta's and consider myself well informed. The current trend towards browser based games is not new. The "new" part is porting these games to social platforms such as Facebook.

Be prepared for an onslaught of social media, browser games. Raph Koster's Metaplace was recently acquired by Playdom which in turn is now a part of Disney. The developers of these forms of games are very excited. They spout numbers in the billions for player bases. I am sure the numbers are high...minus one. I can't stand these games. They feel like a time warp back to my arcade days. These new games do not compare to the creative, visual, games of old. Perhaps if they were to port Earthworm Jim,(exception iPhone which I will never own..go Android) Starship Titanic or Myst I might hit the play button but I refuse to join anyone's Mafia or farm any ville. I am a game snob.

We have more time wasters. Free to play browser games. Being the Star Wars fan I am, I gave the Lucas Arts/Sony new Clone Wars 15 minutes then I spent 30 minutes making sure no trace of the game remained on my PC. The story is pretty much the same for Sony's Free Realms. *coughs* Ya get what you pay for eh?

I realize a great number of these games are geared towards a young, if not very, very young audience. A good thing for parents. Free. No begging for time cards or mile long lists of 60 buck a pop platform games. (That last statement may be a bit of wishful thinking for parents.)When my kids were just venturing into video games, the worlds were rich, the puzzles clever and the immersion a delight. As a trio, my daughter, son and I nibbled at Myst. (along with a few sequels) The world was lovely, art insanely beautiful. The storyline played like a novel and overall the experience was like candy for the imagination. Games such as Myst inspired creativity outside the game. Can we say the same for current trends? I can not say they inspire imagination IN the game let alone after you walk away.

I am on Facebook. I do "Hide" all posts from social games. I easily refuse all invitations to join teams or play within a social network. I offer the game developers a challenge...change my mind.