When Reality Bites

As a participant in the FOX reality show Trading Spouses, I was faced with a decision. Do I defend myself against false claims or dismiss the comments of the public, when questioned or accused, of being the character created by the writers?

For the most part, at least on a public venue, (family and close friends know otherwise) I chose to allow the ramblings of fans and not engage in the war of what is real.

Negativity hurts. It matters not whether the comments are from a stranger in the grocery or a screen name on a forum. You can fight back but that is more akin to feeding a fire than extinguishing it. I expected harmful comments of what viewers believed to be the real me but no amount of foresight can prepare oneself for the drastic false impressions that occur.

So this is where I go back on my word and dispel all rumors eh? Not really. This is where I inform the viewers of a few lesser-known facts that pertain to all reality show participants.

First, the families you view have been through detailed testing and exams. A complete physical, and I do mean complete, is but one of the steps to “Stardom.”

Have you ever had a parking ticket? They know. Ever been paid to dance erotically? They know that as well. Owned a gun? Skipped out on paying taxes? Chances are, they know more about your family than you do.

Do you enjoy repairing door latches? I answered no to that question but yes to many on the over 500-question personality test. (Which takes two hours plus to complete) I still don’t know what my personality type is…they do not release any test results to the pawn, errrr, prospective participant.

What about mental health? Is there a chance of violence? Loss of control? Depression? Trust me, they covered those possibilities and more. I was called back due to my answer to one question. “Do you ever see things others do not?” As an artist, I answered yes. I often see patterns in a field of wheat, silent creatures camouflaged in the environment. Most artists have a keen sense of sight and perception. They didn’t mean THAT kind of sight. They wanted to know if I saw apparitions. Oh my! No.

I was appalled at the FOX Trading Spouses boards concerning the Kahn-Robson / Wiessmeyer episodes. To even imagine FOX and the producers of Trading Spouses would allow an unstable, child abusive family on the show is beyond ignorant. FOX would never allow it. Such a family would never have met the pre-requisites.

Reality television is based on actual events. It is not based on fact.

It is the job of talented writers, producers and directors to provide a network with episodes they believe will garner high ratings and viewers. It is their job to create entertainment.

As a viewer, it is your job to accept reality television as entertainment. Watch, discuss, critique and enjoy what has been created for you. Participants expect negativity and attempt to prepare themselves. Do not expect them to fight back; the benefit does not outweigh the risk. It is not the job of the viewing audience to report any crimes implied by the show to authorities. You would be just as correct to report Homer for abusing Marge as to report any crime you imagine from reality television. As a viewer, you don’t know one speck of the real story and…it should not matter.

Competition is fierce for Trading Spouses. It’s well known adversary, Wife Swap, has provided the conflict imbued, similar situation programming. Trading Spouses, in order to remain competitive, has moved toward a more intense format than that of it’s original, first season shows. When I applied to Trading Spouses, my perception of the show was a family oriented version of the spousal swap format. At the time, I believed it to be geared towards a “Moral of the story,” heartwarming tale. Times change and so has Trading Spouses.

I have learned volumes from my experience on Trading Spouses. The majority of the lessons were fun and enlightening. It is my hope that all families privileged to participate in reality television are able to, eventually, smile at the outcome. When reality television bites, try not to bite back too hard. Remember, the wounds are superficial, even if the public thinks otherwise.